tags: #annual #review [[2020 Review]] | [[2022 Review]] At the beginning of 2021 I set several goals. I accomplished about 20% of them. Of the 80%, a few became less of a priority, others were too ambitious, and several were not well scoped--success was not defined, goal was not actionable enough. It doesn't come as a huge surprise to me that I'm not great at goal writing yet 😂 this is the first year I did it! I also think I tried to codify too many processes out the gate instead of focusing on the foundational habits. I'll take the 20%. But I'm also looking forward to writing better goals for 2022. Here's some highlights from 2021: # Wins - Led design for my first major shipped product, a [contact center dashboard](https://blog.callpotential.com/callpotential-reveals-call-center-dashboard-press-release) for self storage operators. - Gained more confidence in my work skills - collaboration with team members with different personalities and skill sets, communication with stakeholders and engineers, learning how to ask for feedback, etc. - Started this site using Obsidian Publish and began writing more. - Started [[☆ the notes app project]]. I'm on a mission to write 1 million words about anything I feel drawn to write about. I believe the direction will reveal itself. - As part of my quest to improve my visual design skills, I started reading and taking book notes on [[Meggs' History of Graphic Design]]. - Also part of my quest to improve my visual design skills, I enrolled in MDS' Shift Nudge course to improve my UI skills. Here's a selection of my [[📜 favorite shift nudge homeworks]]. - [Discovered web3](https://twitter.com/bobbieysabel/status/1441449656941088768?s=20). I've been exploring crypto, the Ethereum ecosystem, and NFTs. I am...cautiously optimistic. I'm excited about the concept of digital ownership. However, I've pulled back a little on my crypto learning toward the end of this year. Keeping up with the crypto community is tiring and I was starting to not enjoy it. So many Discords, DAOs, projects to stay on top of. Not to mention the financial commitment involved. - Started [[☆ learning Spanish]] using the [Refold](https://refold.la) approach, which is based on comprehensible input. Understanding content in a new language, even if it's aimed at children, is an incredibly gratifying experience. - With the USA reopening, this has been a whirlwind year of social events and friends trying to make up for lost time. Housewarmings, dinners, dates, road trips--rebuilding some of the relationships that eroded during the pandemic and enjoying good company has been a pleasure. - Had the privilege of traveling a lot this year, both for work and leisure. - Disney and VA Beach with fam. These trips were pure hedonic bliss. - Road trip with friends to DC to reunite with more friends and attend a Deadmau5 concert. - San Diego with my boyfriend. I wrote a beautiful reflection on this trip that I considered sharing publically, but I think I'd like to keep it for myself. Let's just say that after around 7 months of not seeing each other in 2020, we were pleasantly surprised by how much we enjoyed the little domestic moments. - Chicago for work, where I met my coworkers IRL for the first time! At the office Halloween party, I played in the bean bag tournament and tried deep dish for the first time. (It's actually pretty good! But I refuse to call it pizza.) - Explored the Andalucían region of Spain - I have a journal in progress about this trip, hope to publish soon. # Struggles - Health anxiety, occasionally crippling. Early this year I had a dry cough and was struggling to breathe. Oxygen level (and temperature) was fine, but I was so scared of not being able to breathe I went to the emergency room. And...everything was fine. No COVID. No anything. My brain has a way of convincing myself that everything is wrong. - The ennui that overcomes me when I imagine working 9-5 for all eternity. I feel immense shame about this! It's like I can hear my parents, grandparents, and all my Filipino ancestors laugh with derision at how cushy this life is. My job is great. I like my coworkers and the work I do. The pay is fine. I spent years working to get this first product design job, but now it's like...now what? Is this it? - Starting to feel the effects of 1-2 years of a sedentary lifestyle. This year I tried to start too many habits around exercise and physical movement all at once, and lost steam. - Frustration with my lack of energy at the end of the workday, and how that translates into lack of working on my other interests. The sedentary lifestype most definitely doesn't help. - Didn't make as much progress with the Shift Nudge course as I'd hoped. Main reasons are: 1) not wanting to spend time in Figma after work 2) being tired, both because of work and because of neglecting my physical health 3) frustration with not being as good as I want to be. # Looking Ahead Some things I want to explore next year, roughly in order of priority: 1. How can I incorporate more movement in my life? - I've been coasting on youth and have neglected my health for far too long. Everything else is downstream of how I treat my body. Yes, this means that most of the time I'll have to prioritize nourishing my body over my mind. 2. How can I better manage my feelings? - A recurring feeling for me this year has been frustration. Besides frustration with *the current state of the world*, I've been frustrated that a substantial amount of my time is owned by a company, and frustrated with myself and my limitations. It makes me angry, and sometimes this anger gives way to hopelessness. I'd like to be kinder to myself and improve at managing these frustrations, while still holding myself accountable for my goals. 3. How can I cultivate taste? - I wrote in [[0004. conversation games and developing an opinion]] about how I haven't done the work of developing my opinion. I want to do the work of identifying what things I like, writing about why I like them, and infusing what I like into my work. This is inspired by @visakanv's tweets on cultivating taste. 4. How can I approach design in a more fun, playful way? - In [[Projecting vs being, and my software dreams]], I wrote about how I want to create software that is art. Software that is beautiful. Software that make you think. And I want to have fun doing it. 5. How can I continue to to enjoy learning Spanish.? I'm playing with the idea of working from Latin America (leaning toward CDMX) for a few months within the next 2 years. But even if I don't do that, I want to continue learning Spanish for the pure joy of it. # Final thoughts I wrote [[0007. the romance of returning home, and the fear of leaving]] a few weeks ago to explore the joys of home, what home means, the tension between you and home when you start to outgrow it, and how one knows when it's time to search for new homes. This question of home, and what happens when you start to feel like you're outgrowing home, has been on my mind a lot in the second half of this year. In October I went to Porter Robinson's Nurture live concert. He played a song, [Mother](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VaUIU5YQhheEETQmV4Nlr?si=a0ae6e016ba04f00), and explained that he wrote it for everyone out there who's afraid to grow up and move on. Because he was afraid. But then he did it, and the song is about realizing there's no reason to be afraid. You are going to do all these amazing things. All this cool stuff. And it's scary, but you need to rip off the bandaid. And once you do, you'll realize you have everything you need. You are enough. And all the people who love and support you? *Like your Mother?* They're gonna be *on your side for the rest of your life*. I don't know what these thoughts on home mean yet. But I'm looking forward to finding out in 2022. --- Created: December 31, 2021 Last Updated: January 31, 2022