Tags: #on-friendship #dough I have thought a lot about friendship the past few years. Or rather, mourning the loss of it. In college I saw ppl who I considered to be friends everyday. Every hour, every minute. I was rarely alone. When I was alone in my campus apartment, I could walk across the lawn to meet up with another friend. I could take the bus 15 min downtown and meet up with another friend. I could sleep over on cushions on someone's floor. In their bed even. Youth. I (and those friends) are not old, but already we can barely even imagine the lives in which we spent every single waking moment together. Unhealthy sometimes, sure. But as adults we create all these invisible, artificial walls. I can't go out on weekdays because of work. I can't sleep over bc I want to be in my own bed. I can't text the group chat first bc it's weird. Because I don't want to be vulnerable. And yes, some of that is growing up and out of the immature codependence, learning to set boundaries to protect yourself. But did we have to build the boundaries so goddamn high? As adults, friendship requires a type of intentional, hard work, that they didn't require when we were in school showing up to the same environment every day. You actually have to give a shit. You have to plan events, be a good host. You have to decide who you even want in your life. You have to go find the people you want in your life. And you have to tell them you want them in your life. Created: June 28, 2021 Last Modified: July 27, 2021